My Fear 


Terrifying specters writhed all around me
I did not run or call for help
Their faces twisted with torment
They wanted me to feel the anguish of their death
The pain of their purgatory
Yet, I was not moved by their suffering
I was not frozen in fear
Instead, I was held in place by my indifference to their suffering
Make no mistake, this was what you would call a nightmare
I did not scream in my sleep
Or convulse in an attempt to wake myself
I watched all of those horrors, those repulsive demons
And slept

Though I did eventually wake, it wasn’t because of my dream
A storm raged outside my window
The wind howled like a bitch in heat
Thunder hammered the pane
Lightning gave birth to long shadows
It all would have been enough to drive the sleep out of any man
But I regarded it all just as I did my dream, with indifference

With my head back down, I shut my eyes
However, instead of returning to sleep, I instead had a thought
I live my life surrounded by monsters and demons
I have seen so much death and experienced so much terror
And now, when I am confronted by the terror of nature
And the horrors of my own mind
I am numb to it all

My eyes shot open just as a flash of lightening exploded
I saw those shadows again and the monsters that dwell within
It was then that I started to tremble
Fear finally did overtake me
But not a fear of demons or ghosts
I became afraid of my inability to no longer feel fear
My heart started thumping at this thought
Soon it was all I could hear
The thunder had subsided
Lightening no longer pierced the sky
The night was calm
Yet my heart continued to beat, and beat, and beat
I lay there for moments of eternity
The rhythm of my heart started to soothe me
I soon found comfort in my fear
Then the fear and I became one
Darkness consumed all
Then, the monsters slept