Sequence of Sixteen Events
First, he confesses to himself that it’s wrong
He would pray, but doesn’t know which God he should pray to
He knows they would all consider him sinful
Second, he makes himself a Glazed Chicken Lean Cuisine
He finds the sweetness of the glaze comforting
He makes and eats a second one
Third, he watches four episodes of Northern Exposure on TV
He’s always considered the show a romantic comedy
He likes it anyway
Fourth, he turns off the TV and closes his eyes
He still hears the Northern Exposure theme music in his head
He sees only the reddish black inside of his own eyelids
Fifth, he listens for her to arrive home, in the apartment across the hall
He listens
He listens
Sixth, he hears her get home at close to eleven
His heart is beating very fast
He breathes deeply to calm himself
Seventh, he waits several minutes for her to put her things down
He imagines her opening a letter from a friend living in Europe
He wonders how she will react when she realizes what’s happening
Eighth, he stands up from the couch
He stretches his middle-aged legs
He thinks she must be younger than him, but not by much
Ninth, he walks to the closet to get something
He bought it the day he took her picture as she left the building
He bought it the day he decided that he needed to do this
Tenth, he walks to his front-door
He opens it and walks into the hall
He looks both ways to make sure no one else is there
Eleventh, he knocks on her door
He is careful about how loudly he knocks
He wants it to be loud enough for her to hear, but not loud enough to startle her
Twelfth, he hears her come to the door
He admires the sound of her voice when she asks who it is
He says it’s her neighbor from across the hall
Thirteenth, he wonders if she will open the door
He thinks she must be looking through the peep hole
He waits
Fourteenth, he hears her unlock the deadbolt
He feels his heart begin to race again
He wipes several beads of sweat from his forehead
Fifteenth, she opens the door
Sixteenth, he …
